Are You in Bed with a Narcissist?

Tamer Aydogdu
3 min readOct 28

Narcissism, a term derived from the Greek myth of Narcissus, embodies a complex psychological construct that often manifests as an exaggerated sense of self-importance, an insatiable need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. It’s an intriguing paradox that a true narcissist appears impervious to the trials of aging, isolation, or social rejection. This enduring facade is maintained not by reality but by the intricate web of their own perceptions and manipulations.

A true narcissist, by definition, is entrenched in a self-centered world where the notion of growing old, becoming washed up, experiencing solitude, or being unwanted seems antithetical to their existence. Yet, the irony lies in the stark contrast between the perceived self and the reality they often face. As they age, societal standards might cast them as ‘washed up,’ their actions might isolate them, and their behavior might render them unwanted. Nevertheless, the true narcissist doesn’t perceive these as truths. They refuse to accept any narrative that challenges their self-proclaimed grandiosity.

For the narcissist, being alone doesn’t equate to being unwanted. They craft an illusion of choice and independence, spinning solitude into a tale of deliberate isolation, maintaining that they are too superior to need the company of others. This fabricated narrative serves as a shield against the sting of rejection, enabling them to assert their imagined superiority even in the face of social exclusion.

Furthermore, the aging process, which is a natural part of the human experience, is anathema to the narcissistic self. While time bestows wrinkles and graying hair, the narcissist clings to a frozen self-image of eternal youth and unassailable charm. They may resort to cosmetic enhancements or other means to preserve this illusion, often refusing to acknowledge or accept the physical changes that accompany the passing years.

The inherent refusal to accept defeat is perhaps the most defining trait of a narcissist. They thrive on a self-generated narrative of invincibility, regardless of actual failures or setbacks. Rather than admitting defeat, they may warp reality, blame external factors, or shift responsibility onto others to maintain the illusion of infallibility.

Tamer Aydogdu

Dutch and Turkish national, progressive, dedicated to bridging cultures, fostering equality, and illuminating minds.